Addiction to alcohol and drugs today, is a problem that has beset the society at large. It is not a “it cannot happen to me” or “it cannot happen to us “scenario any longer. It could be someone in your neighborhood, friends, relatives, family or that someone can even be you!

Gone are the days when a person would consume alcohol to enjoy the taste , the drink and the good feel it leaves behind.

The current young generation are the ones that live on the fast track, the ones for whom the world is in the palm of their hands with smartphones and the internet. Families are nuclear and the pocket money large, the time spent as a family is lesser , dysfunctionalities abound.

The youth get into experimenting with drugs and alcohol. In the past it was macho/cool to be smoking a cigarette, today if you don't smoke a joint or drink you are a nerd and uncool.

The norm is to drink to get drunk. children are getting into substance usage from the age of 15 or 16 and these are through all strata of society. A young patient of mine who would get “smashed” over the weekend with his group of friends told me “what is the fun in drinking doc if one does not get drunk every single time?”

Is the society today enabling increased consumption of alcohol and drugs ? Alcohol is not advertised overtly as per the law of the land. However, subliminal marketing in the form of the alcohol brands selling other products like mineral water or soda etc is advertised . There is a new watering hole opening everyday . Consumers are enticed with happy hours wherein unlimited drinks are served at a minimal price. These target the youth who have limited monies in their pocket. At the same time in some places there is talk of prohibiting alcohol. This leads to hoarding stocks of alcohol, encourages black marketeering of the same, thus leading to an increase in criminal activities and consumption.

Sadly, thus, the youth of today who drink to get drunk are in grave danger of being potential alcoholics.

The way forward is to increase awareness amongst youth regarding addiction and addictive traits and to share the solution of an alternate life beyond drugs and alcohol.

We at AH facilitate such awareness programs .

I AM CLEAN, NOT PERFECT

Addiction is a painful process of living day and night in the clutches of the substance. The family goes through a loss of identity and an emotional roller-coaster ride with the addicted person trying to control his/her using.
Finally, the dependent decides to seek help. He goes to an alcohol/drug rehabilitation program for treatment for a certain duration of time. The family or co dependent can be under the impression that he will come out of the rehab as though he has been dry cleaned and all will be perfect.
In actuality , the real issues surface after the return from the rehab.
The family, unlike the addict in a residential rehab program, has not had the benefit of living away from emotional triggers and takes time to understand the process the addict has gone through and help him continue to not find the need to drink/use.
If the family has not undergone co-dependency counselling, they will look at him with ‘old eyes’ and emotions of fear, apprehensions, mistrust and judgement.
Earlier, the substance was the buffer to escape from the realities of life for the alcoholic/drug addict. Life was going on around him but he was only with the substance.
He is now just starting to get comfortable in his own skin living day to day without any substance. The crutch/substance that made him become oblivious of emotions is no longer present, and emotions are felt in their entirety and depth.
The person has to deal with them with the new tools learnt in rehab, without using a substance, and is finding his/her footing. The person has changed.
However, the spouse and family look at him as if, since he has become ‘rehabilitated’,he can now handle family responsibilities and a job and businesses. The spouse thinks.”Now my world is finally in place. He will take care of my emotional and other needs.” This is the illusion of the co dependent.
The person who has undergone treatment also wants to take on work and take the financial reins into his own hands. However, trust is difficult to get by. The emotional roller-coaster ride comes back with a vengeance in the family.Surprisingly most separations and divorces happen after the dependent returns home from a rehabilitation centre. The co-dependent who, until this point, was ‘right’ about a lot of issues only because of the other person’s drinking/using, begins  to realise that the person has now changed and does not indulge in emotional conversations and does not allow himself to get mood altered.
This entire conflict is the result of the myth that the suffering addict is not just clean but, because he has undergone treatment, should be ‘perfect’.
At AH we provide a luxury rehab facility with an Alternate life therapy program wherein the alcoholic/drug addict finds life and living beyond addiction to alcohol and drugs using various tools like counselling, meditation and writing, along with movies, meals out, hiking etc; in short, living a complete life, not finding the need to drink or use. The family too undergoes a similar process simultaneously so that both grow at an individual capacity and are able to then meet at  a common platform of understanding.

SEXUALITY AND INTIMACY IN ADDICTION

Humans are sexual beings. Sexuality includes physical, psychological, social, emotional and spiritual aspects. It does not only mean the act of sex but the energy of sex and the awareness of humans as sexual beings. Intimacy is building a close rapport, companionship and friendliness with another person.
Sexuality arises in infancy when the infant plays with its genitalia – repression/suppression of this most natural energy begins then itself by parents scolding the infant. In puberty, attraction to the opposite sex reaches its peak, but the topic is taboo in family/society. Religious beliefs complete the vortex of fear, guilt, shame and suppression. Perversion sets in as pornography is resorted to as an educative tool. Add drugs/alcohol to it and the psychological degeneration, delusion and self abuse that sets in is immeasurable.
In a suffering dependent, issues related to one’s sexuality are very extensive and deep rooted. This is not addressed in most treatment programs across the world, let alone in India. However, amongst the various relapse factors, sexuality issues rank amongst the highest.
The drinking /using might have begun as fun, experimentation, peer pressure etc. As it reaches addictive usage there has been a breakdown of most intimate relationships like husband/wife, parent/ child, partners/friends etc. in the cycle of wanting to drink and use and the repeated lies, the deception and the manipulation involved in perpetuating that habitual cycle. The intimacy with oneself has itself collapsed. Any attempt at intimacy by others is also thwarted as it is a threat to one’s usage or it is initiated to enable using or initiate sex.
Alcohol and drugs reduce inhibitions and increase sexual drive. As inhibitions drop with intoxication, promiscuity and unsafe sex is indulged in. The duration of the sexual act from initiation to orgasm lasts longer under intoxication, giving the illusion of it being greater, but though the drive and desire is high, the performance is affected.
Treatment
Considering the sensitivity and the importance of the issue, it is essential for it to be addressed in an unprejudiced, accepting ambience, maintaining confidentiality.
The person identifies and deals with areas of conflict from childhood, adolescence, adulthood and addiction through writing, detaching emotions from incidents. Counseling helps resolve them; meditation enables and sustains growth of awareness. He or she learns how the substances used affects/ afflicts sexuality and performance and what change can be expected in recovery.
It is of paramount importance that the person’s significant other (co-dependent) also receives the same treatment for his/her sexuality issues.
The individuals find freedom from shame, fear, guilt and anger related to sexuality.
Rebuilding Intimacy, Sexuality and Sexual Relations Post-Treatment
The individual is still coming to terms with a life away from the substance, but has experienced joy and is at peace with himself/herself, free from physical and emotional pain. Rebuilding relationships and redeveloping lost trust and intimacy with loved ones is worked through with guidance from a therapist.
Many might have had most sexual experiences under intoxication. Experiencing sex anew can open up other issues. For example, the intercourse may not last as long as it did under intoxication, or medical issues like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunctions, secondary infertility etc may arise. All these can be resolved through counseling and medication.
We at Anatta are probably one of the only centers in India that addresses and deals with issues related to sexuality in addiction and co-dependency in its entirety in an ambience that is open and accepting through counseling, writing and meditation enabling truly holistic healing